OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
