I'm really into asian looking animals
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
