I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
