So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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