i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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