what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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