dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
