i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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