Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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