If i come over, it means nothing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
