You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
