Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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