I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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