If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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