Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
