News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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