it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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