This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
