That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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