WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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