we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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