So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize