It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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