He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
