I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
