You can't motorboat a personality
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
