That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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