Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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