Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
