Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
