I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
