at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
