We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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