The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor