ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Alive.
So much puke
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
is it fun? or sober?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
