its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
