A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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