Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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