guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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