Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Buhtt sex?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
