We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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