Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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