She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
