so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
