My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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