HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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