So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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