He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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