But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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