ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
