Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
