Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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