id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
