I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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