**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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