If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
