Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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