I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
