Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
