Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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